Brian does NOT speak spanish

We were in morning worship today and they were teaching us songs from other countries and one of the songs was in spanish.  So they had the words up on the board and they looked like this:

Heme aqui yo ire, senor

and later on in the song was the word Naciones.

So Brian leans over and says is that first line blood water??? what kind of song is this.. I'm like, "No idiot, aqui is not water aqua is and heme for blood would be Latin not Spanish"  Brian: "No, Im pretty sure it means blod water."  Silence, the Brian says, "Ohhhhh Naciones, I think I like to eat naciones."  Yea, I dont know what that means but Im pretty sure he's never eaten any!! 

Rocky Mountain Oysters

We are taking a bus full of youth to Colorado for National Youth Conference.  This conference happens every 4 years.  We always plan a nice bus trip taking them to Mount Rushmore, the Badlands and we go to a ranch in Wyoming.  This is a real working ranch that lets the kids wrestle and brand cows, takes them on a hayride and shows them the old Indian rings.  This year we even found some arrowheads and beads.  They also like to cook up some Rocky Mountain Oysters for everyone to try.  The whole entire trip Brian was having little contests with the kids; he would give a dollar to whoever sang the loudest or a dollar to whoever could figure out the scripture his T-shirt was based on.  When we got to the ranch he said he would give a dollar to the person who ate the most Rocky Mountain Oysters.  Well, there were two girls Emily and Shalee who tried them.  They were all "These aren't that bad, I don't know what everyone is complaining about"  So Brian said, okay, you're tied, so whoever eats the most gets the dollar.  Well they got up to 6 and decided to quit because Brett, another youth, would always eat one more just to irritate them.  So, my son Noah, walks up to them and is like, "I can't believe that you ate so many of those things.  That's just wrong"  They were like, "Its no big deal."  Noah says, "You know what those are right"  They're all "yea, oysters."  Noahs like "uhhhhhh NO, those are cow testicles. You know when they were branding the cows and afterwards they castrated them, yea, you ate that."  Well you can just imagine their reaction.  They were mortified.  They were screaming, "Why didn't anyone tell us."  I was like, "Ummm, shouldn't a little warning bell have gone off in your head when NO ONE ELSE was eating them, and everyone was making a big deal about YOU eating them?"

Moral of the story, let someone else try the new food first and then find out what it is before YOU try it!! 

You Know It's Summer When....

Hello everyone!  I know it's been forever and a day since I've blogged.  Trust me, it hasn't been for lack of stories, that's for sure!  I just haven't had time, but yesterday something happened that made me decide to start blogging again! 

It all starts in the pool.  Ever since we got our pool (thanks Uncle Ronnie and Aunt Debbie) Bailey has started a tradition of pantsing (i know that's not a real word but its me) his brother Noah.  For those of you who don't know what pantsing is, its when you pull down someone elses pants. However, my child likes to take it to the extreme totally removing the pants and running out of the pool leaving the victim (noah) stuck in the pool naked until someone (me) rescues him. 

First, can we just go off on a boomarang here for a minute.  I just don't get the male thought process at all.  I mean, if I'm out in the pool with say Dana, I'm not thinking wouldn't it be fun to pull off her bathing suit...AHHH NO.. I mean I can honestly say that thought has never ever crossed my mind.  First off, girls fight like a wild tomcat, scratching and biting...that just doesnt sound fun, second, if she looks better than me naked (which isnt too hard to accomplish, I've had kids) then of course my girl brain kicks in and I begin to hate her and start critiquing everything, looking for where she looks fat, if her boobs are more perky than mine, that kind of thing....come on girls you KNOW we do that! 

Boys just think of the stupidest things to do, like oh, you want to light a bonfire, I have some firecrackers in my bag, lets light it with them.  Uhhh, hey genius how about using the match that your going to light the firecrackers with to light the actual bonfire.  Yes, this did happen, again, I have boys and they invite their friends over then its a mob of stupidity trying to figure out new ways to do things. 

Anyway, time to bring the boomarang back around.  So, yesterday I'm cleaning the house and I hear Bailey laughing hysterically, in he comes twirling Noah's swimming trunks above his head.  I, not being shocked at all by this behavior, walk out to the sunroom to yell to Noah that I'm going to bring him new trunks.  Well, to my surprise HE IS NOT IN THE POOL.  I was like, Bailey, where is your brother????  In comes Noah wearing an inflatable tire floaty, naked as a jaybird (what are jaybirds anyway and why are they naked).  OMG, the look on his face and him holding the tire covering his man parts, it was hilarious...so he looks at Bailey and says, "This is what I think of you and your pantsing me"  He turns his back to his brother, carefully lowers the back part of the tire and proceeds to moon him.  Yes, it is officially summer in the Smith House!