Let the Adventure Begin...

I have decided to revamp my blog and am turning it into "Our blog."  I  asked Brian to join me in this undertaking, hopefully he will.  We will commit to posting regularly, (my goal is weekly), we'll see how that goes.  Some of our posts will continue to just be our funny daily encounters and some of them will be us discussing random issues!  Right now our blog is called The Adventures of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, but that may change as this is definitely a work in progress, so be patient!  


I will start briefly with typical funny post:  


So, the other night I was working and Brian was heading up to bed.  I was totally like, uhh where is my good night kiss?  So, he saunters over, grabs my hand and kisses it..

Me:  "What the heck was that?"  
Bri:  "That was a hand kiss." 
Me:  "Yeah, why?"
Bri:  "That's how fancy people do it, I thought we could be fancy." 
Me:  "Right, well, we are NOT fancy, try again."


So he leans over and proceeds to air kiss each cheek....

Me:  "Okay, you're annoying me."

Bri:  "We'll if we're not fancy we can be  European."

Me:  "I'm from Boswell, we are NOT European, Do it RIGHT."

Brian:  ~Heavy sigh~  "Fine...Here I come!"

He comes in with his mouth open and tongue all waggin....

Me: ~laughing~ "okay, you know what...never mind I don't want a kiss anymore." 

Bri:  "Okay, but you're missing out."

Next time I'll just go with the fancy kiss!!  

Darth Vader and Waffle House

So, a few weeks ago we went to Purple Door Music Fest and on the way back Sunday morning we stopped at waffle house for breakfast (waffle house is awesome by the way).  So we're sitting there waiting for our food and Noah who is sitting across from me starts making this annoying sshhcchhssshshsshhhhing sounds and pointing his fingers at me.  So, I try to ignore it but after awhile it gets really annoying, I mean whatever he's doing, he's only doing it to me so obviously he's trying to do something NOT NICE to only me.  Finally, I can't take it anymore: 
Me:  NOAH, what are you doing.
Noah:  (looking at me like Im a complete idiot, you can just keep this look for him the rest of the time)  Shooting lightening from my fingertips. 
Me:  Uhhhhh who the heck shoots lightening from their fingertips?
Noah:  Darth Vader Geez mom.
Me:  Okay, well, Stop it.
Noah:  Why.
Me:  Umm because it's getting on my nerves and I'm pretty sure that you're not aloud to shoot lightening from your fingertips inside the Waffle House. 
Noah:  WHO SAYS?
Me:  Uhhhh everyone knows that duh..
Noah:  No one knows that...
Me:  Yeah, its perfectly fine to shooting lightening from your fingertips outside, but never inside a waffle house.
Noah:  No sir, there's no lightening force rule book.
Me:  Ahhhh, yea there is Noah, quit abusing your power.
Brian:  Yeah, Noah, have you ever seen Darth Vader using his lightening power inside a Waffle House before.....No you havent because it's not aloud!
~Silence~
Girl in the Next Booth:  Excuse me, could you repeat that last sentence because it was totally awesome. 
~We all start giggling~
~Silence~
Noah:  How about the choke hold power?
US:  NOAH..........

Yes, we have very interesting conversations while waiting for our food. 

Brian does NOT speak spanish

We were in morning worship today and they were teaching us songs from other countries and one of the songs was in spanish.  So they had the words up on the board and they looked like this:

Heme aqui yo ire, senor

and later on in the song was the word Naciones.

So Brian leans over and says is that first line blood water??? what kind of song is this.. I'm like, "No idiot, aqui is not water aqua is and heme for blood would be Latin not Spanish"  Brian: "No, Im pretty sure it means blod water."  Silence, the Brian says, "Ohhhhh Naciones, I think I like to eat naciones."  Yea, I dont know what that means but Im pretty sure he's never eaten any!! 

Rocky Mountain Oysters

We are taking a bus full of youth to Colorado for National Youth Conference.  This conference happens every 4 years.  We always plan a nice bus trip taking them to Mount Rushmore, the Badlands and we go to a ranch in Wyoming.  This is a real working ranch that lets the kids wrestle and brand cows, takes them on a hayride and shows them the old Indian rings.  This year we even found some arrowheads and beads.  They also like to cook up some Rocky Mountain Oysters for everyone to try.  The whole entire trip Brian was having little contests with the kids; he would give a dollar to whoever sang the loudest or a dollar to whoever could figure out the scripture his T-shirt was based on.  When we got to the ranch he said he would give a dollar to the person who ate the most Rocky Mountain Oysters.  Well, there were two girls Emily and Shalee who tried them.  They were all "These aren't that bad, I don't know what everyone is complaining about"  So Brian said, okay, you're tied, so whoever eats the most gets the dollar.  Well they got up to 6 and decided to quit because Brett, another youth, would always eat one more just to irritate them.  So, my son Noah, walks up to them and is like, "I can't believe that you ate so many of those things.  That's just wrong"  They were like, "Its no big deal."  Noah says, "You know what those are right"  They're all "yea, oysters."  Noahs like "uhhhhhh NO, those are cow testicles. You know when they were branding the cows and afterwards they castrated them, yea, you ate that."  Well you can just imagine their reaction.  They were mortified.  They were screaming, "Why didn't anyone tell us."  I was like, "Ummm, shouldn't a little warning bell have gone off in your head when NO ONE ELSE was eating them, and everyone was making a big deal about YOU eating them?"

Moral of the story, let someone else try the new food first and then find out what it is before YOU try it!! 

You Know It's Summer When....

Hello everyone!  I know it's been forever and a day since I've blogged.  Trust me, it hasn't been for lack of stories, that's for sure!  I just haven't had time, but yesterday something happened that made me decide to start blogging again! 

It all starts in the pool.  Ever since we got our pool (thanks Uncle Ronnie and Aunt Debbie) Bailey has started a tradition of pantsing (i know that's not a real word but its me) his brother Noah.  For those of you who don't know what pantsing is, its when you pull down someone elses pants. However, my child likes to take it to the extreme totally removing the pants and running out of the pool leaving the victim (noah) stuck in the pool naked until someone (me) rescues him. 

First, can we just go off on a boomarang here for a minute.  I just don't get the male thought process at all.  I mean, if I'm out in the pool with say Dana, I'm not thinking wouldn't it be fun to pull off her bathing suit...AHHH NO.. I mean I can honestly say that thought has never ever crossed my mind.  First off, girls fight like a wild tomcat, scratching and biting...that just doesnt sound fun, second, if she looks better than me naked (which isnt too hard to accomplish, I've had kids) then of course my girl brain kicks in and I begin to hate her and start critiquing everything, looking for where she looks fat, if her boobs are more perky than mine, that kind of thing....come on girls you KNOW we do that! 

Boys just think of the stupidest things to do, like oh, you want to light a bonfire, I have some firecrackers in my bag, lets light it with them.  Uhhh, hey genius how about using the match that your going to light the firecrackers with to light the actual bonfire.  Yes, this did happen, again, I have boys and they invite their friends over then its a mob of stupidity trying to figure out new ways to do things. 

Anyway, time to bring the boomarang back around.  So, yesterday I'm cleaning the house and I hear Bailey laughing hysterically, in he comes twirling Noah's swimming trunks above his head.  I, not being shocked at all by this behavior, walk out to the sunroom to yell to Noah that I'm going to bring him new trunks.  Well, to my surprise HE IS NOT IN THE POOL.  I was like, Bailey, where is your brother????  In comes Noah wearing an inflatable tire floaty, naked as a jaybird (what are jaybirds anyway and why are they naked).  OMG, the look on his face and him holding the tire covering his man parts, it was hilarious...so he looks at Bailey and says, "This is what I think of you and your pantsing me"  He turns his back to his brother, carefully lowers the back part of the tire and proceeds to moon him.  Yes, it is officially summer in the Smith House! 

Speak Boris, Speak

We have a Rottweiler named Boris who is very big and oafy (or is it spelled ophy)... anyway, for some reason he was the most difficult dog ever to train.  He is just simple.  He can sit, shake, and lay down, but for some reason the command speak just perplexes him.  So, yesterday we were in the kitchen (me, brian and bailey) and Bri was trying to get Boris to speak.  He had a treat in the air and was like "Speak Boris" and Boris starts to run around in a circle and sit down.  nooooo..."Speak Boris."   He runs over to bailey, steps on Bay's toes with his tallons (gigantic nails) and sits down on bay's feet.  Noooooo, ..."Speak Boris."  He comes over to me and nudges my hand.  Nooooo..."Speak Boris"  he lays down.  "Wait," I say, "Let me show him, I'll speak and you pretend to give me the treat."  Brian, "Speak Jenn, Speak"  Me:  "Wooooooffff".....Brian "good girl"  Pretends to feed me the treat....All the while Boris is watching us....Good try it again.  Brian, "Speak Jenn, Speak" Me: Wooooooffff.....Brian "good girl" Pretends to feed me the treat.  Okay B, your turn, ..."Speak Boris" He runs out of the room and doesnt come back... Brian looks at me..."He left."  End of Speaking lesson.

Ihop and open wounds

So, one of my favorite people to blog about will be my sister, Jessica.  Let me tell you about my sister.  First she is 9 years younger than me, so it was like having a real live baby doll to play with.  Also, my sister is VERY Book smart, she has like 20 masters degrees and still wants more..HOWEVER, she is not very "street smart" which is a nice way to say she has zero common sense!  But hey, come on, one or the other..book smarts or street smarts...Im special and have both!! AHAHAHAHAH  ehem...

anyway, one time when Brian and I were first married we lived in Harrisburg, PA and Jess came to visit.  She was probably about 12.  She was a very innocent 12-year-old.   Brian and I took her to our favorite restaurant at the time, IHOP.  We order our usual; I got pancakes and french fries (yea, carbs and more carbs) and brian got pancakes and onion rings. (we order strange combinations okay).. So Jess gets the pancakes too (no strange side dish for her) and she is sitting across from us in the booth. 

So the food comes and you know we're preparing our pancakes and stuff.  Now let me just say that IHOP brings out their pancakes with a big GLOB of butter that looks like they used an ice cream scooper.  All of a sudden, my sister takes the big glob of butter and just plops the entire thing in her mouth.  I mean, its a huge glob...so brian and I both just stop what we're doing and we're just STARING at her...Im thinking, she knows this is butter right...so Jess, not wanting to be embarressed, she totally tries to play it cool and she takes a big swallow and then drinks her water real fast then tries not to gag the butter up.  I was like, "JESS...does mom know you eat like that"...she's all "what" still playing like she meant to swallow a pound of butter.  I was like, "Dude, what were you thinking swallowing all that butter."  She proceeds to say, "I thought it was ice cream"   UHHHHH, when was the last time you got pancakes with ice cream...then we all started laughing hysterically and she was like, "I think I'm gonna be sick."  Oh yea...thats my sister. 

But wait, I just thought of another thing she did once.  This is like 4 years ago or something so she was an adult and we are at the pool at the YMCA watching the boys swim when all of a sudden my sister goes..."Duhhhhh, no open wounds in the pool...like they need a sign."  I was like "whhhhhhhhat"...she said, "yea, look, no open wounds."  Im looking around thinking, I've never seen that written anywhere. I look to where she's pointing and I say, "UHHHH you mean the sign of the person diving into the pool with a big circle and a line through it."  we both just lost it...she was like, "ahahahahahaha I ahahaha thought ahahahaIt was an open woundAAHAHAHAHAH"  Okay, how many of you know what the universal picture is for an open wound....again, my sister is REEEEALY book smart!!!