Swimming Pool Debaucle

    So, you may know that we got some holes in our pool liner and had to replace it. I have a habit of getting it into my head that I can take on projects that require multiple people by myself. This has escalated since my baby boys have turned into mini-men and are strong now.  That coupled with the fact that I can watch how-to videos on youtube just enables my disasters. So, a few weeks back when it was a really nice Saturday, I decided that we were going to do the pool. (just a side note, I try to do a lot of stuff for brian since he is works full time and I work from home part time, so he doesnt have to worry about finding the time to do said "things," which inevitably usually ends up with me totally wrecking it and making more of a mess for him to do, but we have been doing this for 17 years and I don't forsee me changing anytime soon).

     K, anyway so the boys and I get out there and I cut the liner out (like I saw in the youtube video) and start taking the top part off of the pool to get the rest of the liner off...so far so good. We end up getting bailey inside of the pool ( we had to use a chair and a step ladder and help him in it was pretty comical) so he can start to remove the liner and even out the sand and stuff. Well I get everything off and start working on the light.  Well, my uncle Gary must of used his superpower strength that day to put the light on because I could NOT get this darn thing to come off. I was prying and pulling and twisting and cursing...oh wait did I say cursing, ignore that...it was now 30 minutes of me trying to get this darn light off, Baileys still trapped in the pool and Noah kindly asks him if he wanted a sandwich and a drink...(Wow they DO care about one another) So noah gets bailey his stuff and he stands there and says, "He's just like a zoo animal. We can feed him, make him do tricks." Me, "Doing tricks would be the circus." Noah, "Oh, yea, right...anyway, we can feed him and watch him go crazy because he cant text anyone." (I had taken the phone away because its just too distracting when I need him to do something). Finally it gets to be an hour of me struggling with this light and bailey and I had to just break it to get it off.

     By this time it had been over an hour I was working on the light alone...Bailey is going stir crazy in his zoo cage and noah is standing outside just antagonizing the situation, like "Look at me, I can go in the house, out the house, in the house...I can go all over the yard.  Where can you go??? that's right, just your cage" then started the "You're and idiot" "well your gay" back and forth about 50 times before I scream "SSHHHHHHUUUUUTTTTT UUUUUUP, GOSH."

So, I have the light off and now we need to get the liner in...so Noah and I bring the liner over to bailey.  Bay starts to open the liner up and I'm thinking...man that thing looks small, but the pool dudes know what they're doing right..  Anyway, bailey gets one piece of the liner over to noah.  I am directly across from him and the liner CLEARLY is not going to reach me.  so there's yelling again, come on bailey use your teenager strength...pull the liner...well, not matter how hard he tries he is NOT going to stretch the liner to make it work.  So, I go over and check the box...Sure enough, this liner is for a 21 foot pool, ours is a 28...ooookkkkaaaayyy, so a day of work totally wasted.  The funny thing is it says SMith on the box, so obviously there was more than one SMith that ordered a liner...IMAGINE THAT....

      All day it was beautiful, no wind, nothing..then all of a sudden God thought it would be fun for it to get windy out. So, remember, I had taken the top off  the entire pool. I should of only taken a few at a time, but no, on the youtube video they took them all off (they also had about 10 workers helping).  SO the wind is getting CRAZY and the sides of the pool start to shake and get wabbley...UH-OH...then the wind picks up and one side of the pool falls in...so we're screaming, quick bailey push that side up...noah go help him...then another gust of wind and the other side falls in...


Okay, this is where it gets good and we introduce a new character in the story called "Drunk Neighbor" we'll refer to him as DN for short!!  He actually lives up the road so any of you who know my neighbors he is not next door..those are the helpful neighbors and the ones behind us are "those who dont look at us."  That name explanation will be another blog. 
 
So, DN is riding his bike by and yells, "hey do you guys need some help."  REally, do I even need to answer this question...me: "yes, that would be so helpful."  So he rides up into our yard and says, "let me take my bike home and see if I can get my roommate to help."  As he's leaving he says,"What are you gonna give me to help."  REally DN, really, Im trying to hold my pool up, and you're going to ask for something when you OFFERED to help. I just looked at him and said quite sarcastically, "How about my love and kindness."  So he kind of chuckles and rides off. 
 
A few minutes later he comes back carrying a wal-mart bag..whatever, maybe he grabbed some tools.  Let me just take this time to describe this kid...He's really tall and lanky, he just reminds me of like rubber man or something, just like all arms and legs, and he just has that punk look about him...anyway, so he gets in the poll and Announces..."Okay, if Im going to help, Im in charge you all listen to me...do yea hear me"...(thats like his tag line or something..its incredibly annoying and he says it like right after EVERYTHING he says and does not even give you time to think of an answer let alone say anything) 
 
     So the wind picks up and one side of the pool falls in and he goes running all arms and legs to grab it...then the other side goes down and he turns and runs to that side.  This actually goes on for about 5 minutes...me and the boys just watching lanky rubber boy running back in forth pretty much in circles not able to keep up with the wind and the whole time hes screaming, "this is Bull*&*, this is BUll*#&#"  Ten he says to Noah.  "hey Buddy, go to that bag and get me a beer." what, we're taking a beer break.. so he opens a beer and literally chugs the whole thing..I guess all the running around made him thirsty.   Then he looks at me and says, "I wish you would of told me you were doing this today, then I could have been here from the beginning and made sure it went right."  Okay first, I dont even know your name so WHY would I tell you...and second you're annoying me.  
 
    By this time it is windy like crazy and the pool has come of of the track completely and there is sand in the track and its just a mess...so I make an executive decision that we're just going to take the pool down and start over another day.  Again DN starts with this is BS and I wish you would of told me you were doing this...didyahearme.   *OMG SHUT UP*.
 
So, we're trying to get the screws out that holds the wall together and DN the expert doesnt like the tools I have.  So, he keeps calling bailey "Willy" and says, "hey Willy, got get me a ratchet"...hahahahhahah like he knows what that is...anyway, then he's like do you know what a ratchet is...canyouhearme...answermesoIknowyou'rlistening.  (he gets that in real quick remember).  Anyway then our helpful neighber peeks around his garage and is like do you need help and he brings us a ratchet.  Well DN decides to have a rant about me, right in front of me....and he says..get ready..."This is why I hate working with women."  OMG, I seriously wanted to hurt him....Im not being dramatic, like I pictured myself grabbing the wrench and just beating him.  I was seeing RED. It took everything I had not to go off on him because Im trying to set a good example for my children...MAN THAT WAS HARD!!  So, the good neighbor walks off chuckling because he KNOWS I want to kill DN.  
 
    We start to get the pool down and I'm trying to tell DN how to roll the thing up and he's all like no you'll dent it. Then he proceeds to tell me that he KNOWS what he's doing because he took 3 years of carpentry in high school, didyahearme....I took 3 years, I know what Im talking about"....REally ding-dong and how many pools did you put up during your 3 years of wood shop?  AAARRRGGGGHHH.  So finally I convince him that rolling up the side wall will be just fine.  He's calling bailey Willy and noah just kid (which by this point he has had noah get him like 5 different beers from the magic Wal-Mart beer bag).  He calls bailey Willy for like the 100th time and I scream, HIS NAME IS BAILEY NOT WILLY...THATS NOAH AND HE IS BAILEY.  And DN looks at me like Im totally off my rocker and says, "Oh Okay," He turns to NOah and says, "Hey WIlly get me another beer."  and looks at bailey and says "bailey help me with this pool wall." 
 
Finally we get everything situated and Im just like, "okay, we got it from here you can go" and DN is like, let me help you clean up. Me "NO no, its okay, we got it....really you can go"  SO as DN is leaving (which he left all his empty beer cans for us..thanks loser)  I said to him, "Im sorry I dont have anything to give you."  He sarcastically says " Yeah, whatever....You do know where I live right, in that apartment building"  Im like "yeaaaa" In my head Im thinking what a subtle way to try to tell me you expect something...how bout this, next time I see you on your bike Ill refrain from running you over. 
 
In the end, I got the pool up after I cooled down a few days, and I will NEVER EVER take on a project like that by myself EVER AGAIN....*wink-wink*